Getting married and committing to another for life is a big decision. No one wants to get married thinking that one day they will just go ahead and divorce. But knowing when it’s the right time in a relationship can feel tricky. You don’t want to scare your partner away, but you know that you need to have these big conversations.
You Have Conversations About Marriage
One way to know when it’s time to pop the question is to start talking about marriage. You want to make sure that you and your partner are on the same page, and the best thing to do is to bring up the topic. If she has no desire to tie the knot, you’ll know it’s not the right time, or that she is not the right one for you long term. You can ask questions about where she thinks the relationship is going, mention that you’d love to eventually get married, and see what she thinks about that. If you think she’s the one for you, there are some big things you need to get in order.
You’re Willing to Discuss Financial Issues
If there are hard topics to discuss in a relationship, money is one of them. When you get married, marital assets are combined, and it’s best to decide together where most of that money will go. It’s okay to each have a slush fund for whatever you want, but healthy marriages have healthy conversations around money and make decisions together. Financial conversations can revolve around how big of a home you want, where you’d love to travel, how often you want to go places, etc. It can also discuss how you both feel about who is making more money. More women that ever before are bringing in bigger paychecks than their partners, and if yours is one of them, you need to be okay with this reality.
You’ve Paid Off Some of Your Debt
Paying off debt takes dedication. If you made poor financial choices in the past, it’s best to learn good money habits before you get married. Part of that requires committing to paying off bad debts and starting to save your money for future needs. You can save up for a house, retirement, and even one of many affordable engagement rings. You can give her something beautiful that will make her feel treasured, without going broke.
You Have Similar Goals/Values
Marrying someone who does not share similar goals or values means that there is no underlying connection to hold you together when things get tough. Let’s face it, if you’re only there for the sex, or because she has a smoking hot body, it’ll be harder to stick around when something comes to change all that. Children change a woman’s body, hormones and age change the way she (and you), look. Additionally, if you’re two different religions, it can be a challenge figuring out how to live out your individual faiths and teach them to your children if you have any in the future. Plus, she might have feelings about your choice of bachelor party buddies, so it’s good to be on the same page about friends as well.
You Can Talk About Children
Knowing if you want to have children and being on the same page about it is critical. If you or your partner don’t want kids, but the other one does, that one is usually a deal breaker. There is nothing more heartbreaking than being in a relationship where one wants kids and the other does not. Whether you have always desired to be a father, or she has always wanted to be a mother, it’s critical to share in this want. Resentment can easily grow when a husband or wife is hard-nosed against children and the other wants this in life.
You’ve Met Her Family/She’s Met Yours
If you’ve met her family already and you know what that family dynamic is like, this can be a good clue for you. This is important, because once you’re married, even though you two are one, you’ll always have family vying for your time. It’s important to have a healthy relationship where you can discuss issues, especially if family members overstep boundaries. You want to be sure you’re okay with spending some holidays or events with her side of the family and that she’s okay with yours as well. Meeting the family is always a sign of a relationship that’s going places, and if marriage is on your mind, these are important ways to know it’s time.
